31.7.09

CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE

one of my worst fridays ever, hands down. oh and hello august

29.7.09

IYQ

it's not even about lust, or love or anything in between. this is completely different. aside from the fact that for last 4 years i've had a soft spot for him i've never gotten close to someone and then begin to think 'what if'. that's what makes him so good. beginning phase is always game but it was never like that. you bounce in and out of my life and it was painless but now that you're around you just make every rough day better. (y)

"what if this ends?"
"it's all good, we always find a way back to each other."
"i like that."

27.7.09

DELUSIONAL

i remember having this deep conversation with my mom about how i'm just like my brothers. i can totally relate to her because she's right. i am outgoing, i don't care, and i'm rude. but i don't wanna run into a different topic. aside from the fact that we're pretty clever, prefers simple over fancy, and kinda shy kinda not. we have this similarity where.. we remember almost everything. i remember everything from who said what to the most memorable and painful moments. heartbreaks were the worst. when we both cried for comfort we'd reminisce on her past even if i wasn't involved and she'd hold me from the back when i'd tell her how dysfunctional i felt when some idiot hurt me. that gut feeling where you want to turn up a good ol throw back track and purposely remind yourself how painful that experience was will never run away. i am most def long gone over it. but that sack full feeling of sadness and happiness feels so good. it's just that feeling that never lets ya down, you know

one of my good lost homies i've known forever called me yesterday. trying to get all the good and bad feed back from me on how my life's been. so i spill hoping it'd keep him entertained and holy mother did it ever. i got all these comments on how different i am and how big of a disappointment i was to him. but don't be quick to judge because he got mad at me and hung up. then called me back an hour later apologizing because he realized that I'M GROWING UP. ha ha suck a.

how often do you get that feeling where you know you're doing something wrong yet you avoid the thought of caring? mainly because that feelings too good to let go of? and why must i always look at whats good than to notice whats not just so i can make myself believe that he's just as great as i want him to be? whats with all these rhetorical questions? like what the fuck?

26.7.09

#1 FAN


good stuff (y)

i don't care what happens 1, 2, 3, 4 months from now.
and i don't care about the person you used to be.
you're here with me now. and now is the most important thing to me.

22.7.09

U THE FCKN BEST

never gets old. and it reminds me of you and your secret formula of how you smell so damn good hah! last night was dope minus the getting rolled out by the cops.. and having 2 hours of sleep. bro went, back back, to, cali cali. MEANING.. now that this house is a vag fest i can walk around naked. yes!!

20.7.09

OUCH

YOU JUST GOT CUT.

19.7.09

LOOKS KILL

CHILL
ever thought about how many different definitions the term chill can apply to? like, ho ly shit. there's chill out meaning stop being so dramatic, take a 'chill pill' aha. chillin as in i haven't been up to much, yenno, just chillin. and the k chill out, we're not an item, we're just chillin. i mean there's it's chilly outside, but that's just retarded..

speaking on behalf of that i'm having a difficult time debating whether i should dip or not. the closer you stand, the more painful it can get. today clearly just ain't my day. i have homies who aren't really homies; lose some gain some. i'm hanging up on ppl who call because i think it's this creeper (sry lenny lmao). and i'm just not feeling the whole pretty outside sunday cruise night vibe.. :( sad face


ugh i know right?

18.7.09

DOO WOP DOO WOP

o my weezy ef baby last night was wrong. good but wrrrrrong lol.
bruise on my knee and elbow
lost my powder and cash
2 hours sleep
i'm still kinda drunk
alcohol + t9 = thumbs down
and like.. a million ppl have my number. -_-

17.7.09

BITTERSWEET

after a rough day, he calls at 3 in the morning. "ain't my only one, but i'll make you my main girl." he's definitely a good kisser so he drives all the way to my house for a kiss and takes me for a spin. sweet huh?

too bad you blew it.

16.7.09

CHIPS AND SUBTITLES

so theres this guy..
i met a few years back. we kinda kicked it, kinda didn't. but now mister.. whats his face is on the real.. makin' me smile. it's perfect. we want the same things, and our limits are definitely a plus. there's a catch, do not fall. but aside from all the imperfections.. i like the challenge. i like the push. and my body's beginning to define around his.

13.7.09

YUH

now lets see, how many times have i truly felt good? i mean theres the "this individual definately makes me feel good. emotionally, mentally and physically, this muthafucka makes me feel so.. ugh.. good." and then the "that was a good run. i'm so hot. time to fresh rest and call my bros." and theres the "yuh." i'm YUH. i'm so yuh. do you get me? i can go for a strut right now, close my eyes and let the night breeze brush through my hair. that's the best feeling. that feeling where i've grown so much and the breeze is just so timeless and i can just kick it and feel good about the shit i just went through. when it hurts it's so painful, when you're healed it feels good but when you're yuh - it's amazing.

now lets see, how many times have i truly felt good? ha. whose counting ;)

11.7.09

THAT PARTY LAST NIGHT WAS AWFULLY CRAZY I WISH WE TAPED IT

guess what? chicken butt

so.. the last few weeks have been different. a definate good different. "we don't talk no more. the love when we hug ain't the same no more." it's okay though, because that whole piece of me.. you know.. that whole mind over powers heart piece of me makes it okay. summer never fails to please me (:

YOU LYING, CHEATING HYPOCRITE. what kind of a friend says to a friend that they're being a bad friend when you're the friend that's fucking over a different friend by letting their friend try to be more than friends with you. you lying, cheating hypocrite.

5.7.09

CONFESS DISTRESS

heal me..

4.7.09

LOVE IS GOD

water is at it's greatest on two occasions:
1. going for sushi
2. waking up in the middle of the night after gettin tanked
oh and i've been good, how you been?