12.10.09

BABY YOU CAN MAX ME OUT

10.10.09

FEAR

I wasn't really scared of growing up. I was more excited than anything. And I know I'm not completely grown but I can admit that I know my shit. I know what makes the world go around but I don't know how to make my bed in the morning. Big whoop. It's just now that I look back on everything. I've blossomed out of that person who thought life was life everyday and what ever happened everyday is probably gonna happen tomorrow too. But no, I see it all now. I underestimated my mom when she'd lecture me about having a big house and nice car when I'm older. I am scared. I'm scared to accept criticism and I'm afraid to love again. I'm scared of watching my little cousins get big and I'm afraid of the next big conflict in my family. So then I stood in the middle of my room remembering how I had to share the attic with my brothers. And how sliding down the stairs in pillow cushions was funner than partying. SO MUCH TIME HAS FLEW BY AND I WASN'T SCARED WHAT SO EVER. Now look at me. I'm scared to shit less pieces. "You call is procrastination. I call it taking my time."